“My Darkness is as Light to You”

I recently traveled with my dad and my sister to Pittsburgh for the results of my dad's biopsies. It was here that we were given the news that he does in fact have laryngeal cancer. The next step is to have a cat scan done to confirm what stage and if the cancer has spread, if it has...most likely to his neck region.

God may not have given us a miracle now, but that doesn't mean He won't give us one down the road. If I know my dad....he's going to offer hope and encouragement to someone in a waiting room somewhere who's waiting on their own next round of chemo or radiation, or tell a nurse or technician what God is doing in his life. That's just the way he is. And giving the gift of hope and the knowledge of Christ to someone else is in itself a miracle!

I have found comfort and hope today in Psalm 139:

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

My darkness today is my dad's cancer....what's your “darkness“?....what's that trial or problem you are going through? Sometimes I feel as if I have made my bed in the depths. Sometimes it seems as if I’ve settled on the far side of the sea. I am claiming God's promise that He is there with me! I know that no matter where I go, I cannot flee from His presence....He loves me (and you) that much! And even though I wallow in that darkness, that pain, that trial....that very darkness is as light to Him. God never promised life would be easy, but He DOES promise to walk with me through the darkness every step of the way!

I cannot help but ask God why. Why would my dad, a man who has loved the Lord all his life, a God-fearing, praying, faith-filled, encouraging man who has never smoked or drank or done anything to cause harm to his throat, has only spoken words of encouragement....why this man, who's traveled on numerous missions trips and given time and money to the poor, who's given himself sacrificially to care for my mom.....why should this man be inflicted with cancer?

The Lord told me two things.....He led me right back to John 11....He said, "So that others will see and believe". And the second thing...He reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

May the Lord's power rest on you in your weakness so that He may display His awesome strength in the work He has for you to accomplish! Remember, it's not about us...it's all about HIM! It's about Him doing His thing through ordinary, (and like it or not), "weak" people like you and me! We cannot do it without His power resting on us. In just living life, sharing our stories, and being givers...may others see Him in us and believe, even in our darkest times! Even on this journey with this thing called cancer!